desolation row.

finally i managed to get my lazy ass off and start to work on that finding-manufacture-mechatronic-whatever-based-company-phone-numbers-thingy whatnot whatnot.

which was assigned last last saturday.but well atleast i started on it 5 days before new sem starts compared to the usual which i'll eventually find the importance of putting my fingers together on actually typing on the search engine or whatever one day before it is supposed to be presented.yes i'm in guilt of heavy procrastinating.pardon me =_="

so luckily i found a webbie with search directories for those companies in need.a list of 466 pages all of them.and i need only two.which actually should be easy for me.sadly no.first 2 pages sme luar selangor.haa bnyk duetla kn nk g travel jauh2.

kinda frustrated (br 2 pages dh poyo nk frust2).off to csi ny.phone numbers can wait.flack doesnt.haha wtf.

but then recap next epi shows flack smooching angell.ugh.devastatinggggggg ~(

dgn sedih hatinya mncari lg nombor2 nh.berjaya akhirny.hoyeahhhh!tinggal that build-up-40-qs-to-ask-whoever whoever.itu..uh..well...urm..hahahaha..ha..later? **D

man,seriously.why on earth do they put me as a person in charge anyway??gle ape.normally people would mistaken me as an anti-social.no.my previous english lecturer had already labelled me as a sociopath.sighs.

really hope no one involved will read this.haha.mati aku.

but well,i guess i should try my best kn?be more responsible.hm.

whatever.this is getting boring.
decided to put in my thoughts instead of those 'thoughts' on youtube but i guess it just turned out to be merely complaints.

haha.pape jelaa.blog aku weyy.

. . .

okay now i'm offbeat again.believing that i'm actually talking to someone.

. . .



staying home for too long can be mental threatening to some people can it. =="

when the truth is...?

sesungguhnya aku sangat bosan.
dan buntu.
dan penat.
dan fenin dgn fizik.

my classes today are physcs II,maths n writing class.tapi madam laili mc,yg semua org(act,yg prpn je,bros x smpi lg) kena smpi kelas duduk dulu br taw kelas cancel,eventho it was obvious there was a notice on the door stated the today's class is cancelled.tapi hanim gak yg perasan.org laen dok menonong je jln.mungkin kerana semangat belajar maths yg x dpt dibendung?hee :p

basically i was bored.so trigt la kt cc.nk bkak fs tgk2 under maintenance.ms,fb,cm malas.mcm lebih complicated?whatever.therefore i decided to blog.although i'm not sure what to write,but i do feel like writing.hm.

last friday i went to that induction course,yg aku sbnrny xnk pon pergi,lbey2 lg ada explorace??? yg mmgla kn membangkitkn semangat aku (HAHA).but idk,terdapat sedikit rasa kasihan dlm diriku ini yg mmbuatkan aku pergila jgak course tu.ssh taw nk buat aku kasihan n rajin.selalunya aku mmg rasa kasihan ttp rajin tu mmg kirim slmla.
memula nk g yg opening je.pstu mcm okla aku pegi jgakla pagi esok pny.bila group discussion 1 mcm penting je utk pegi yg 2nd pny (well,act sbb azah dgn aku je dtg,mmg sadis la kn klu aku x dtg.azah bunuh aku nnt klu aku x dtg.ke dea lg suka?heee :PPP),pegila.that moment ecah,azah n i were already fenin2 pk nk g explorace ke x.memula mmg dh x nk pegi dh.since yg team b sme mcm stok2 xkn dtg je.skali sister tu g cdgkn nk balancekn.adoyai.mmg xleh escape la kn.so aku pergila memenatkn diri g explorace tu.pstu closing kenala pegi kn,alang2 dh pegi semua.in the end,my attendance was full.

frankly speaking,aku ttw nk bangga atau kesal,sbb aku beriya ckp xnk pegi,tp last2 aku pergi SEMUA.haih.

right now badan ku masih sengal2,sbb aku rs last time aku berlari2 begitu was in form 5,spm camping thingy tuh.mmg dh berzaman la kn.and during that time there's no boys to catch up with.you get the idea.aku nh mmgla kn 'juara sprint'.yea right.

tomorrow i'll be sitting for the special ept.perasaan?tiada.gementar?mungkin sedikit.bt whatever it is,i'll try my best.do pray for me! :D

and yeah.do pray that i don't get caught in my own little game.i'm feeling like it.this is serious.i might mess up.again.like always.sighs.


i think i should go study physics or something.or take a nap.thats all for now :)))

of fish n chips.

so as my life diibaratkan as a car crash survivor,the one which the car jth dlm gaung kt gua musang,falling so hard due to earth's gravity,ignoring air friction,and F=ma (ok let me stop this);i think i've had enough of those times where i keep myself in that car for quite a time and weep and swore to myself that i would not go to klntn again by car,and towards the end i'm slowly embracing that light of hope,once again letting myself feel the sun and starting to climb up the gaung one step at a time.however,if u dont layan metaphores and dont understand a single crap i wrote,let me get this straight;my life sucked,and i fucking need to get over it.

just 3 months in cfsiium,and i hve to fckng deal with these internal conflicts that no one knows,hidden beneath those wide grins and fake emtions,trying to be someone i dont even know what i will turn into.i mean,wth is wrong with me???what am i trying to do???who am i trying to impress???

the answers?hanya Allah shj tahu.

and here i am writing crap all over again which when ppl read n the frst thing they'll hv in mind is,wtf?so yeah.i am assuming.and frankly speaking,i'm good at it too.

therefore i have to conclude,why am i the one who is trying to please everybody,and nobody actually gives a shitting hell about me.wtf?omg i'm being emo.again.

please note that the above does not refer to my life in cfs whatsoever.it refers to my entire life.

but then yesterday's study circle did give me the courage to move on.and yes,as corny as it sounds,it did help me to be more bersmgt.so i've decided to move on.get a grip.score for finals (eventho it is C.hell i dont want to repeat physics 1).and yeah.live life to the fullest.why should i care about ppl who doesn't give a shit about me.so yeah.yeahhhhh..!!fish?

ok so i am done crapping.these are my so-called attempt to get over and done with it,via writing.maybe i shouldn't be so self-centered.i think i should care less about ppl.talking about contradictions and irony.

and please.please make me forget him :[